My focus for research was on how college has developed over the years. The differences in the amount of people going to college and how necessary it is now than it was before. Now there is much more competition to get a good education in society than before.
Why does it matter to you personally given the experiences you've had in your life - in terms of your feelings, hopes, memories, daily life?
This topic matters to me personally because I feel that for my generation, there is so much pressure to go to a good college and get a good education and the idea of a good education seems as though it disreguards the career path and the drawbacks of going to college. It is so hyped up in society so it makes me wonder, does it actually live up to the hype? And how does it compare to previous generations where it was accepted that not everyone went to college? How have the values in American culture changed in terms of education? It definitely affects my own daily life, schools seems to shape my mindset into just following the steps to get to the next level without even questioning the next level. School as a sorter, wants the students to just go by the system for what it is without questioning it.
Thinking about college a lot, I have hopes for enjoying my college experience socially and academically so it will help me with my career path. I want to feel accomplished by the time I finish college I want to feel confident in the career that I choose. These are hope that society and colleges seem to promise for students. While I have all these hopes for college, I feel like college is just another delay from the 'real world'. I feel like (from my own experience) society does not have too much respect teenagers so it feels like they are just keeping us away from the working force until they feel that we have matured enough to get into the work force. In addition, college is a possible delay for students to decide what they want to do for a good amount of their lives because as I have noticed from my own experience, teenagers can be very indecisive.
How does your topic matter existentially - in terms of the meaning of your life, of knowing who you are, of whether you live well before you die?
The image that I have in my head of living a 'well' life before dying is, seeing different cultures, going around the world, learning new things becaues you want to and not because it is a requirement in society, and you just leading your own life on your own standards. I believe that society's expecations of more education hinders our lives existentially for the majority, we only go to school high school because we have to, now that we have the choice of going to college or going to straight to work, the majority will choose college in this generation I'm guessing because it is expected of us by our parents and the society. People are looked down upon if they do not make something of themselves and people are convinced that after high school, college is the number one way to go.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Initial Internet Research on Schooling- 41
"College Degree Not Required"
This article has a list of lots of career paths and what percentage of the people in those career paths earned a college education. "Jobs at the top of the list are good bets for people with no degree. Jobs at the bottom of the list are bad bets" at the top of the list is an air trafic controller with 32% of workers who got a college education, to an optometrist with 100%. It is a pretty long list but there is still a pretty good amount of jobs that do not require a college education.
But these jobs, although may not require a college degree, are they careers that anybody would want to spend their life doing? We also have to take into consideration that the careers I believe should be sometime people are willing to do for a good amount of time. The time and money spent on college should not be the only weighing factors. Recently, for me, there has been constant advertisement about college, that it opens up more options.
Why Should You Go To College?
McGuire says an important reason to go to college is for the opportunity it provides. "As opposed to generations of the past, high school graduates today are unable to obtain the number of high-paying jobs that were once available." The college expectations in society have changed over the years because of employment availability. It seems as though it is becoming more and more of a struggle to get a well paying job in the U.S. because this new expectation/requirement is a college degree.
McGuire also discussed in his article a topic that came up in my interviews; connections. "The more connections which are collected during your college career, the more options you will have when you begin your job search" College seems to be the time where a student having decided a career path, meets with people in this field, giving them a greater chance of success in this field of work. But connecting back to my interview, it seems as though you need these connections to get into college to begin with. Everything seems to be a competition of who you know and what connections you have more than the work you have done.
How Does Having a Degree Vs. No Degree Effect Employment Opportunities?
Similar to the first website I researched, this website provides a list of careers that do not require a college degree but it still makes a point to say that a college degree makes finding jobs easier. "While there are Employment Opportunities available to those with and without a degree, earning a degree can lead to higher paying positions, more options and more opportunities for promotion."
This website also demonstrates that the higher the amount of eduaction one attains, the less chance of facing unemployment issues, "However, the unemployment rate for those without a degree is higher than for those with one...Unemployment rates by amount of education, according to the American Foundation for the Blind (AFB), www.afb.org, are: Less than a high school diploma: 6.8 percent [up to] Doctoral Degree: 1.4%"
Overall, these websites convey that college is a necessity in obtaining success in the work force. These sources talked very breifly about the change between generations, how in the past, the majority of students were not expected to continue education after high school to get a well paying job.
Competition in College Admissions:
There are more students applying to schools now than before. "this is another year of historically high numbers of applications at numerous schools...In addition, the advent of online applications has led to students applying to more schools, especially top students who are aware that their preferred schools are competitive." Recently there has been more competition for colleges. There is more demand for higher education in society. Because the majority of students now are going to college, everyone is expected to try for college even if it does not seem necessary for the student's choice in their career path. As seen in previous websites, going to college opens up more options, it leaves room for someone to change their mind. It also allows for higher paying jobs even though the cost of college is increasing.
It seems as though competition is increasing by the year, "Statistics from the 2006-2007 application season indicated that college admissions have become more competitive than ever," the top, most rigorous colleges' acceptance rates are decreasing,"The acceptance rates at Yale, Harvard, and Columbia fell below 10 per cent for fall 2007 admissions. Princeton's acceptance rate just cleared 10 per cent, and Dartmouth's was just over 12 per cent...there's no denying that admissions to top colleges and universities are highly competitive, and likely to remain so for years to come."
Works Cited
"Are College Admissions Getting More Complicated." College Admission. 2009. Web. 2 Mar 2010..
"The Best Career Opportunities, "College Degree Not Required"." CityTownInfo.com. 2007. Web. 24 Feb 2010..
MGuire, Jeff. "Importance of College Education." College View. hobsons, Web. 24 Feb 2010..
"How Does Having a Degree Vs. No Degree Effect Employment Opportunities?." DegreeDirectory.org. 2010. Web. 24 Feb 2010..
This article has a list of lots of career paths and what percentage of the people in those career paths earned a college education. "Jobs at the top of the list are good bets for people with no degree. Jobs at the bottom of the list are bad bets" at the top of the list is an air trafic controller with 32% of workers who got a college education, to an optometrist with 100%. It is a pretty long list but there is still a pretty good amount of jobs that do not require a college education.
But these jobs, although may not require a college degree, are they careers that anybody would want to spend their life doing? We also have to take into consideration that the careers I believe should be sometime people are willing to do for a good amount of time. The time and money spent on college should not be the only weighing factors. Recently, for me, there has been constant advertisement about college, that it opens up more options.
Why Should You Go To College?
McGuire says an important reason to go to college is for the opportunity it provides. "As opposed to generations of the past, high school graduates today are unable to obtain the number of high-paying jobs that were once available." The college expectations in society have changed over the years because of employment availability. It seems as though it is becoming more and more of a struggle to get a well paying job in the U.S. because this new expectation/requirement is a college degree.
McGuire also discussed in his article a topic that came up in my interviews; connections. "The more connections which are collected during your college career, the more options you will have when you begin your job search" College seems to be the time where a student having decided a career path, meets with people in this field, giving them a greater chance of success in this field of work. But connecting back to my interview, it seems as though you need these connections to get into college to begin with. Everything seems to be a competition of who you know and what connections you have more than the work you have done.
How Does Having a Degree Vs. No Degree Effect Employment Opportunities?
Similar to the first website I researched, this website provides a list of careers that do not require a college degree but it still makes a point to say that a college degree makes finding jobs easier. "While there are Employment Opportunities available to those with and without a degree, earning a degree can lead to higher paying positions, more options and more opportunities for promotion."
This website also demonstrates that the higher the amount of eduaction one attains, the less chance of facing unemployment issues, "However, the unemployment rate for those without a degree is higher than for those with one...Unemployment rates by amount of education, according to the American Foundation for the Blind (AFB), www.afb.org, are: Less than a high school diploma: 6.8 percent [up to] Doctoral Degree: 1.4%"
Overall, these websites convey that college is a necessity in obtaining success in the work force. These sources talked very breifly about the change between generations, how in the past, the majority of students were not expected to continue education after high school to get a well paying job.
Competition in College Admissions:
There are more students applying to schools now than before. "this is another year of historically high numbers of applications at numerous schools...In addition, the advent of online applications has led to students applying to more schools, especially top students who are aware that their preferred schools are competitive." Recently there has been more competition for colleges. There is more demand for higher education in society. Because the majority of students now are going to college, everyone is expected to try for college even if it does not seem necessary for the student's choice in their career path. As seen in previous websites, going to college opens up more options, it leaves room for someone to change their mind. It also allows for higher paying jobs even though the cost of college is increasing.
It seems as though competition is increasing by the year, "Statistics from the 2006-2007 application season indicated that college admissions have become more competitive than ever," the top, most rigorous colleges' acceptance rates are decreasing,"The acceptance rates at Yale, Harvard, and Columbia fell below 10 per cent for fall 2007 admissions. Princeton's acceptance rate just cleared 10 per cent, and Dartmouth's was just over 12 per cent...there's no denying that admissions to top colleges and universities are highly competitive, and likely to remain so for years to come."
Works Cited
"Are College Admissions Getting More Complicated." College Admission. 2009. Web. 2 Mar 2010.
"The Best Career Opportunities, "College Degree Not Required"." CityTownInfo.com. 2007. Web. 24 Feb 2010.
MGuire, Jeff. "Importance of College Education." College View. hobsons, Web. 24 Feb 2010.
"How Does Having a Degree Vs. No Degree Effect Employment Opportunities?." DegreeDirectory.org. 2010. Web. 24 Feb 2010.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
School Interviews- 40
Part A:
The majority of my interviews were focused on the college process, the college experience, and whether college is worth the money. But a small portion of my interviews were focused on different types of schools and how students feel about those different types of schools.
a couple 10 year old girls that I spoke to talked about the types of schools they go to including, elementary school, acting school, and hebrew school and how they felt about these schools. One girl seems to enjoy acting school (from my perspective) but does not like any of them on a social level (drama with another girl). The other 10 year old said she did not like elementary school because it does not interest her but she does enjoy her acting school because she likes the people there. Based on these interviews, the people who are at your school affect how a student may feel about school. The social experience of school overpowers the academic experience in these cases.
I interviewed a European lady at my internship about college. I asked what she thought about the college application proccess. She said it is overly stressful and it can be simplified. College is so stressed about when it is just an extention of high school. She also talked about the competition and how it is not completely objective, there is still favoring going on and lots of future success depends on the connections you have.
In a similar conversation with a school of the future senior and we talked about the reqirements for the college application proccess. The colleges seem to be expecting lots of experience when the student is looking for experience. Students look into schools to gain the experience they are lacking but it makes the student feel like they are incapable of studying in a field because they do not fill the requirements to study in that field.
Going back to my interview with the European lady, I also asked her about her thoughts on the social experience of college, she thinks that it is effective to develop independence but it is also complicated for young people because there is this pressure to change or fail, the college social experience can vary depending on the individual experience. She has a history of going to college in London and college in America, so I asked her to talk about the differences in those experiences. She said that there is a different mentality between the two because they are two completely different cultures, she said she felt safer at her college in London than at her college in America. In addition, financially, London is less than America because of the different economic structure.
I intervewed a female sophomore college student from Florida about the college proccess. She thought you should not have to pay for the application proccess especially if you might get denied. But "it is what it is," the community college application is pretty simple but for universities and more rigorous schools require a more complex application proccess and if that is what you want then you have to apply yourself to get it done. She then started talking about test taking, she does not like it because it is not a strength of hers but it is necessary. I also interviewed a male sophomore college student from New York about the college proccess. He said it was at times annoying and it takes a long time.
I then asked the female sophomore if she thought the money and stress for college is worth the experience, she said that her cousin had an amazing college experience and she does not regret the money and the stress. The sophomore explained that she is a lawyer so financially in the long run it won't be as stressful as it would be for her because she wants to get into education where financially it might take longer for her to get out of debt from school. Overall, it depends on the career path and personal experience if it is worth the money and the stress. From the male sophomore's perspective, he said he enjoyed classes and likes learning so it is worth it.
Part B:
I think it is interesting how the social aspect of school, the people who are in your school, can make or break your school experience as discussed in my interview with two 10 year old girls. Your experience with school emotionally affects the overall experience (socially and academcially, although I believe people think more about the social experience more than the academic). It is also interesting how the social and academic parts of school depend on each other at times. If a student is having social problems, they might be less motivated to focus on the academics, or the opposite. A student might be distracted by social aspects of school. The academic part might help create the social part.
The female sophomore said "it is what it is" about the application proccess and it made me think about schools as a sorting machine. How we have to adapt to what society asks of us to be considered successfull if that means going through a rigorous application proccess for the risk of denial or the relief of approval. Even though she does not agree with test taking she believes it is neccessary. Her perspective seems to be that this is how society is and there is nothing we can do about it, we adapt to the level of work we think is suitable for ourselves. But what if expectations get so high that even the moderate levels are frowned upon? Should we push ourselves to risk stress and money? Or accept that we are not accepted?
In regards to the college application proccess, I wonder, does the college experience live up to the hype of the application proccess experience? which I should have asked in my interviews. There is so much stress over completing the application and waiting for the approval, does it match up to the reality of going to the college you chose and going through the experience after long periods of thinking about it.
The majority of my interviews were focused on the college process, the college experience, and whether college is worth the money. But a small portion of my interviews were focused on different types of schools and how students feel about those different types of schools.
a couple 10 year old girls that I spoke to talked about the types of schools they go to including, elementary school, acting school, and hebrew school and how they felt about these schools. One girl seems to enjoy acting school (from my perspective) but does not like any of them on a social level (drama with another girl). The other 10 year old said she did not like elementary school because it does not interest her but she does enjoy her acting school because she likes the people there. Based on these interviews, the people who are at your school affect how a student may feel about school. The social experience of school overpowers the academic experience in these cases.
I interviewed a European lady at my internship about college. I asked what she thought about the college application proccess. She said it is overly stressful and it can be simplified. College is so stressed about when it is just an extention of high school. She also talked about the competition and how it is not completely objective, there is still favoring going on and lots of future success depends on the connections you have.
In a similar conversation with a school of the future senior and we talked about the reqirements for the college application proccess. The colleges seem to be expecting lots of experience when the student is looking for experience. Students look into schools to gain the experience they are lacking but it makes the student feel like they are incapable of studying in a field because they do not fill the requirements to study in that field.
Going back to my interview with the European lady, I also asked her about her thoughts on the social experience of college, she thinks that it is effective to develop independence but it is also complicated for young people because there is this pressure to change or fail, the college social experience can vary depending on the individual experience. She has a history of going to college in London and college in America, so I asked her to talk about the differences in those experiences. She said that there is a different mentality between the two because they are two completely different cultures, she said she felt safer at her college in London than at her college in America. In addition, financially, London is less than America because of the different economic structure.
I intervewed a female sophomore college student from Florida about the college proccess. She thought you should not have to pay for the application proccess especially if you might get denied. But "it is what it is," the community college application is pretty simple but for universities and more rigorous schools require a more complex application proccess and if that is what you want then you have to apply yourself to get it done. She then started talking about test taking, she does not like it because it is not a strength of hers but it is necessary. I also interviewed a male sophomore college student from New York about the college proccess. He said it was at times annoying and it takes a long time.
I then asked the female sophomore if she thought the money and stress for college is worth the experience, she said that her cousin had an amazing college experience and she does not regret the money and the stress. The sophomore explained that she is a lawyer so financially in the long run it won't be as stressful as it would be for her because she wants to get into education where financially it might take longer for her to get out of debt from school. Overall, it depends on the career path and personal experience if it is worth the money and the stress. From the male sophomore's perspective, he said he enjoyed classes and likes learning so it is worth it.
Part B:
I think it is interesting how the social aspect of school, the people who are in your school, can make or break your school experience as discussed in my interview with two 10 year old girls. Your experience with school emotionally affects the overall experience (socially and academcially, although I believe people think more about the social experience more than the academic). It is also interesting how the social and academic parts of school depend on each other at times. If a student is having social problems, they might be less motivated to focus on the academics, or the opposite. A student might be distracted by social aspects of school. The academic part might help create the social part.
The female sophomore said "it is what it is" about the application proccess and it made me think about schools as a sorting machine. How we have to adapt to what society asks of us to be considered successfull if that means going through a rigorous application proccess for the risk of denial or the relief of approval. Even though she does not agree with test taking she believes it is neccessary. Her perspective seems to be that this is how society is and there is nothing we can do about it, we adapt to the level of work we think is suitable for ourselves. But what if expectations get so high that even the moderate levels are frowned upon? Should we push ourselves to risk stress and money? Or accept that we are not accepted?
In regards to the college application proccess, I wonder, does the college experience live up to the hype of the application proccess experience? which I should have asked in my interviews. There is so much stress over completing the application and waiting for the approval, does it match up to the reality of going to the college you chose and going through the experience after long periods of thinking about it.
Monday, February 8, 2010
First School Assignment- 39
Part A:
Please write 3 each of the most interesting, fascinating, powerful questions, ideas, and experiences you've encountered about school.
Why do we have to go to school now, at such a young age?
What parts of the school curriculum do we need now? Or at all?
What should be added to or taken out of the school curriculum?
What are the pros and cons of school?
How can they be altered to make school time spent more wisely?
What can be done to make our own learning experiences more worth while?
What are the personal and emotional experiences with school?
What is good/bad about these experiences?
How will the social experience of school help or hinder us now? in the future?
Part B:
Please explore one aspect or moment of school in a 2-4 paragraphs. Show us what's strange or great or awful about it. Talk about how you feel about it - how do you think it came to be - what consequences it produces.
I think that it is interesting how we interact with the people in our school when school is just a routine part of the first 18+ years of life. I have made some amazing friends through my experience in school so even though there are things that we learn that don't seem so important or interesting, it seems okay when you have interesting people to go though it with. I believe that the general view of school is that it is a boring place where we just kill time until we have to leave and do whatever we want. But personally, I don't find it as boring as people make it out to be. I don't necessarily jump out of bed every morning excited to come to school but its not completely boring either.
Another interesting aspect of school is that it is supposed to prepare us for the future. It takes almost 20 years before society believes we are mature and ready enough for the real world. The authority figures hype up the idea of the work force and the real world for so long. The four years of high school prepare us for college and the four + years of college prepare us for our career that we are supposed to know. I believe that all these several years of preparing is delaying us. Those who know what they want to do have to fill the years of required courses to fulfill that career choice. But I guess if one does not know what they want to do, they have several years to decide. I'm not sure which is better.
But I do believe that school and college should not be enforced with so much pressure. It looks so bad if you have not gone through high school or college. People do not take you seriously if you have not gone through the several years of schooling that you will most likely forget within your experience in your career anyway (more specifically the generic curriculum learned in high school). I do think education is important but there should be more freedom. Society makes me believe they want me to be like everyone else, go to high school, go to college, get a generic job and be just like everyone else.
Please write 3 each of the most interesting, fascinating, powerful questions, ideas, and experiences you've encountered about school.
Why do we have to go to school now, at such a young age?
What parts of the school curriculum do we need now? Or at all?
What should be added to or taken out of the school curriculum?
What are the pros and cons of school?
How can they be altered to make school time spent more wisely?
What can be done to make our own learning experiences more worth while?
What are the personal and emotional experiences with school?
What is good/bad about these experiences?
How will the social experience of school help or hinder us now? in the future?
Part B:
Please explore one aspect or moment of school in a 2-4 paragraphs. Show us what's strange or great or awful about it. Talk about how you feel about it - how do you think it came to be - what consequences it produces.
I think that it is interesting how we interact with the people in our school when school is just a routine part of the first 18+ years of life. I have made some amazing friends through my experience in school so even though there are things that we learn that don't seem so important or interesting, it seems okay when you have interesting people to go though it with. I believe that the general view of school is that it is a boring place where we just kill time until we have to leave and do whatever we want. But personally, I don't find it as boring as people make it out to be. I don't necessarily jump out of bed every morning excited to come to school but its not completely boring either.
Another interesting aspect of school is that it is supposed to prepare us for the future. It takes almost 20 years before society believes we are mature and ready enough for the real world. The authority figures hype up the idea of the work force and the real world for so long. The four years of high school prepare us for college and the four + years of college prepare us for our career that we are supposed to know. I believe that all these several years of preparing is delaying us. Those who know what they want to do have to fill the years of required courses to fulfill that career choice. But I guess if one does not know what they want to do, they have several years to decide. I'm not sure which is better.
But I do believe that school and college should not be enforced with so much pressure. It looks so bad if you have not gone through high school or college. People do not take you seriously if you have not gone through the several years of schooling that you will most likely forget within your experience in your career anyway (more specifically the generic curriculum learned in high school). I do think education is important but there should be more freedom. Society makes me believe they want me to be like everyone else, go to high school, go to college, get a generic job and be just like everyone else.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Art Project Cool- 38
The Cool Fool from Sandy G. on Vimeo.
1. What insights about cool does the art integrate? What do you hope people will realize or question from their encounter with your art?
Some insights about cool that this piece of art integrates is the paradox of trying. Trying to be cool is uncool but you cant be cool unless you put in some sort of effort but it just cannot be shown. The main character "Mike" is seen in several different ways. He did not seem to try very hard to get people's attention while playing baskeyball in the gym. When he does not try the is left unnoticed by one girl and has another girl falling for him. In the cafeteria it was clear that he was trying to get some sort of attention when he walked in. When he does try, people are more critical about his coolness. No matter what you do people are going to have mixed opinions of you. There is no deffinite way of getting everyone's approval. There is no definite way of being cool.
2. Describe the process of making the project - how'd you do each step? If it was a group project, what did you contribute?
It was a rough start in our group (me, Andy, Carrie, Kate, and Rachel J.) to create the video because we could not decide what we wanted to do that would have everyone involved. We finally decided on basing our idea on the show "The Office" where the basic set up is that a scene happens and the characters who are in the scene say their point of view and what they think of the situation. This allowed everyone do have an acting part and we all contributed our own ideas while edited together.
First we did the personal parts where everyone said their character's opinion, then we created the group part. This part was a little different from what we originally planned where there was a "Cool Mike" and an "Uncool Mike" as two different situations with different characters showing the different reactions to Mike. We ended up having Mike as one person where others had mixed feelings about him which seems a little more realistic and simpler to convey. We showed Mike interacing with other people in school and we see him presenting himself in a more casual way and in a more "obnoxious" way. Once we had all of our footage we got together to put all the clips in the decided order and adding necessary effects.
3. Does making art seem cool to you? Why or why not?
I think making are is cool. It is a cool way to "show don't tell." I love making art because there are so many possibilities and ideas to choose from that will fit the art's message, you have a lot of freedom to creating art in creative ways. It can be challenging at times because you want to make something that will grab the audience's attention in a way that allows them to understand what you are trying to show while enjoying the piece of art but once you overcome the challenge it can be very rewarding. Specifically to this video, it was hard at first in deciding what to do but once we did decide, it was cool to collaborate with the rest of my group and make something that we were happy with. I feel like in general, art is something almost everyone can connect to. Art is a general form of expression it can be through audio, visual, movement, there are so many different ways. I think most people can connect with art in one way or another.
Friday, January 22, 2010
HW 37 Cool Paper Done Draft
The "cool" people are the temporary elite of a group that people tend to look up to. It is often you find many people are looking to be "cool," trying to follow the complex and nearly impossible steps to being cool. Coolness is a delusional tragic trap that convinces people it will solve problems of meaning and significance but only worsens them.
Paradoxes and contradictions to the general idea of what cool prevents us from having a clear understanding of how to attempt being cool and does not allow us to attain coolness. One paradox is that if you are cool, you cannot look like you are trying to be cool; it has to be an authentic coolness. An excerpt from the show, The Simpson’s, is used as an example to show this paradox.
"Lisa: That song is so lame. /Homer: So lame that it's... cool? / Bart+Lisa: No. / Marge: Am I cool, kids? / Bart+Lisa: No. / Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right? / Bart+Lisa: No. / Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried everything here. / Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool. / Bart: Well, sure you do. /
Lisa: How else would you know?"
It seems as though if you admit you're cool you are not because being cool is not caring. But if you're uncool, admitting that is acceptable--the song can be so lame that it's cool. But then how can you know if you're cool without asking and sounding like you're trying too hard? We all seem like we try so hard, trying different tactics of attaining coolness to get others to like you and according to the paradox, it leaves us uncool for trying too hard. This paradox of cool is a trap to make us think that reaching coolness will make us feel more significant.
Another paradox of cool is that being cool is being "real" and authentic. But especially as teens, we are all going through the struggle of finding ourselves so how can we be our authentic selves if we do not know what that is. In class we read an excerpt of Our Town by Thornton Wilder where two of the main characters, Emily and George were having a conversation about their feelings for each other, in this scene, the two characters were being sincere because they were not playing the "cool" role. We then compared this to the movie, Rebel Without a Cause starring James Dean who was an icon of cool. In this movie, the group of cool kids at the high school are constantly being ironic and trying to be funny and making jokes so they will be accepted by the others. In this comparison, the group of kids who are clearly trying to be funny are seen as the cool ones and the sincere couple are seen as just average teens. "We trap ourselves in this paradox where being a bad ass is cooler than being sincere," (Esther Dionisio 1/21/10) even though authenticity is a trait of coolness. This is another paradox as a trap to coolness.
On a website titled "How to Be Cool" there are several steps in attaining coolness. Number one is not caring what others think. Being indifferent, but still having a general view of how others perceive you. You have to be confident, be different, say what you think, laugh at yourself. Individualism is also an important aspect, be relaxed, and be social without coming on to strong to other people. There seems to be many regulations in being cool. One must be a unique individual, but unique isn’t always "cool", someone you can call unique can also be seen as weird in a negative way. And in one of my interviews, a girl is considered cool but she was not unique because she dressed like everyone else. There does not seem to be a clear way to differentiate the two, trying to be cool has many contradictions that prevent one from being cool; people feel disappointed and insignificant as a result of being rejected by coolness.
Capitalism influences competition and consuming commodities, it is a way of presenting what cool is and is a trap to make us run in circles following the trends spending money. The film, Merchants of Cool, portrays the message that the corporations manipulate teens because they are vulnerable. They take advantage of teens as an easy target for their profits. Capitalists find the easiest way to make the most profit, even if that means creating these roles and norms for teenagers and influencing them to be cool highly affecting their lives. Media holds huge role in our lifestyles, "the average teen in 2001 sees 3000 advertisements a day," so we fall into the trap that the newest item to purchase is cool because it is one of our main resources. We get caught in the trap of buying things that we think will make us cooler.
Capitalism convincing us to be cool for our money tells us to be a leader, not a follower. Being a leader according to capitalism is being able to get a large amount of people to like what you like and buy what you buy. Without followers there would be no leaders. If everyone wants to be the cool leader, the majority of them will not be able to reach coolness because only a select amount of people can be temporarily cool. Coolness is a trap that deludes people into believing anyone can reach coolness and become someone of importance but in reality only a select amount can.
Based on Friedman's lecture on the Psychology of Cool (12/8/09), giving others the power to determine your coolness makes you vulnerable, because teens are influenced by the idea of being cool, the vast majority of teens are insecure. Corporate companies take advantage of this and use it as a technique to target teenagers, "Teens are like Africa" (Merchants of Cool) they colonize our consciousness. We all want to be valued so the marketing companies use that and flatter the chosen audience (teens) to get their attention.
Running after coolness despite the traps of paradoxes and competition, allows you to fall under the larger trap of emptiness. We feel emptiness because we are always looking for happiness and significance and coolness so we are disappointed when we are faced with unhappiness. "Emptiness as a human condition is a sense of generalized boredom, social alienation and apathy. Feelings of emptiness often accompany depression, loneliness, [or] despair. “As Matt Fried says, humans are built with the ability to feel negative emotions as well as positive ones. We can't expect other people to determine our emotions when we give them the power to decide whether we are "cool," or not. Our insecurities lead us to wonder if we are accepted by others. Cool allows us to fall into the trap of emptiness when we are faced with negative emotions if we are not accepted in society.
Also relating to Ralph Ellison's, Invisible Man, the main character goes through a similar routine of cool and emptiness. He joins a brotherhood and feels a sense of importance, being "Introduced as a kind of hero"(358) that people care about. Over time he realizes that they were only using him as a tool, "a material, a natural resource to be used."(508) for their group and he says "I felt suddenly empty...Up to now I had felt a wholeness...wholeness that guaranteed that it would change the course of history."(406). He thought he would be a significant figure in the world filling/covering up his emptiness but lost that cover up over time. The connection between emptiness and cool in this case is being cool does not last for as long as you would want it to because things change and people move on and this leaves you with a feeling of emptiness.
In trying to being cool, we often look for a sense of importance to make us feel better about ourselves. We try to find our meaning in the world and we aggrandize ourselves to prove this meaning but often times the positive attention we want to receive is not always given to us. For example, tattoos can be seen as an addition or an extra part of someone's role they perform. It is a representation or imitation of part of their identity. Girls get small tattoos on their ankle, showing their gender (the ankle being seen as a feminine body part) or the tough guy getting a tattoo on their tri-cep (shown as masculinity). It is part of the costume of their performance. They adjust what they wear to show off their tattoo so it can be shown as apart of their character. Almost like a more permanent accessory, like the thick chain for boys and the thin for girls. Accessories of a character's costume are designed as signifiers to show gender, character and personality. Tattoos can be seen as a tactic to attract people into questioning their character. Trying to get people's attention and approval of "coolness," but even is someone is seen as "cool" because of the way one might aggrandize the self, it only lasts for a short period of time.
Trying to fit into the archetypes that best fit ourselves leaves us feeling empty when we cannot completely fulfill that role. For example in the movie The Breakfast Club, all of the general stereotypes are stuck in detention together, each of them playing the role that they fit into, "a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, a criminal...". They eventually become friends with each other despite the expectations of not associating with people outside of their social group.
This film showed the dominant views of the cool kids in a typical high school, the jock, the princess, and the rebel, and the uncool kids, the geek and the basket case (unique but uncool?). Each character fulfilled their archetype. In the beginning, "the princess," "the criminal" and "the athlete" think they are better than the others, "the brain" obediently sitting at his desk and "the basket case" in the back kind of just doing whatever she wants. Throughout the movie they escape these norms by admitting that they don't fit them.
The Brain:
I can't have an F, I can't have it
and I know my parents can't have it!
Even if I aced the rest of the
semester, I'm still only a B. And
everything's ruined for me!
He is struggling to fulfill expectations he and his parents have for him to be "the brain" that has straight A's.
The Princess:
I hate having to go
along with everything my friends say!...
You know, you just don't understand
the pressure that they can put on
you!
Although she does not always agree with what her friends say or do, she feels like she has to go along with them anyway in order to perform her part in their high school. She defies her norm by saying she does not like the pressure her friends put on her.
The Athlete:
it's all because of me and
my old man. Oh God, I fucking hate him!...
"Andrew, you've got to be number one! I
won't tolerate any losers in this
family... Win. Win! WIN!!!"...
sometimes, I wish... he
could forget all about me...
He cannot take the pressure he receives from his father who expects him to be a winner because he fears that he cannot fill that expectation.
The Basket Case:
My home life is un...satisfying...
[my parents] ignore me...
Although throughout the movie she comes off as a loner who does her own thing, she lacks attention from her parents that she wishes she had. She does not fill her archetype of the basket case by being independent because she wants attention from her parents.
The Criminal:
(as his father)
Stupid, worthless, no good, God
damned, freeloading, son of a bitch,
retarded, bigmouth, know it all,
asshole, jerk!
(as his mother)
You forgot ugly, lazy and
disrespectful.
As the criminal, he also has to fill the image of the loner who does whatever he wants but he wants his parent’s approval which is not part of his archetype. All five of these character fall under the trap of trying to be something because they are unable to fill those roles completely.
They all come to the conclusion that,” we’re all pretty bizarre! Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all." We all have problems and being "cool" or trying to be, is just a way of pretending that we are happy and avoiding/denying the fact that our lives are not perfect and our lives do not hold as much of a significance in the world as we would like them to. Each character in this film has felt some sort of emptiness because they feel that they were unsuitable for the "box" or the label they are in. No one can always be accepted by everyone, people are deluded to expect this so people fall under the trap of trying to be cool and not being able to reach it and thus feeling sadness or emptiness.
Overall we all look for the approval of others because of our insecurities and our own perspective of ourselves are not enough. It is a struggle we all go through trying not to listen to the opinions other people have of us. We place our trust in other peoples' judgments of ourselves and are faced with feeling empty and insignificant because we will not always hear positive feedback about our character or identity. Coolness is a tragic trap that convinces people being cool will make you important. Or maybe it isn't a trap for everyone. It is possible there is a group of people who try to be cool and just are, they are well liked and they fit their role because they adapt to it and they are happy. I would argue against this that happiness does not last forever so even if you attain coolness, there are still challenges and struggles that cool people have to make.
Personally, I believe that I have fallen into the trap of coolness. I fill my role in society as the smart nice girl but I am not always satisfied with this role, and I believe the archetype does not capture everything. The brain is more than just a nerd and the criminal is more than just a badass (or at least I'd like not think so). One's identity is covered and defied by the expectations and the norms. We are being labeled (by ourselves or others) before we can even really be sure of our own identities or who we want to be. Once you are in the trap it is not very easy to get out, it is a struggle to change your maps or change your boxes. How do we change the views of ourselves without looking like a poser? Does it matter what people think of us anyway? What do we do now?
Works Cited:
"Albert Camus." Wikipedia. 13 Dec 2009. Web. 17 Dec 2009. .
Dionisio, Esther. "Comments." People These Days. Blogger, 21 Jan 2010. Web. 24 Jan 2010.
Ellison, Ralph. Invisible Man. New York: Second Vintage International Edition, 1980. Print.
"Emptiness." Wikipedia. 29 Nov 2009. Web. 17 Dec 2009. .
"Existentialism." Wikipedia. 17 Dec 2009. Web. 17 Dec 2009. .
Fried, Matt. "Psychology of Cool." Social Studies Class. 127 e 22nd, New York. 08 Dec 2009. Lecture.
Goodman, Barak, Dir. Merchants of Cool. PBS: 2001, Film.
"How To Be Cool ." iloveindia.com. Web. 7 Dec 2009. .
Hughes, John. "The Breakfast Club." awesomefilm.com. 1985. WDBG@AOL.COM, Web. 7 Dec 2009. .
Ray, Nicholas, Dir. Rebel Without a Cause . Warner Brothers: 1955, Film.
"Theories of cool." wikipedia.org. 2000. Web. 7 Dec 2009. .
Wilder, Thornton. Our Town. New York, NY: 1938. Print.
Paradoxes and contradictions to the general idea of what cool prevents us from having a clear understanding of how to attempt being cool and does not allow us to attain coolness. One paradox is that if you are cool, you cannot look like you are trying to be cool; it has to be an authentic coolness. An excerpt from the show, The Simpson’s, is used as an example to show this paradox.
"Lisa: That song is so lame. /Homer: So lame that it's... cool? / Bart+Lisa: No. / Marge: Am I cool, kids? / Bart+Lisa: No. / Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right? / Bart+Lisa: No. / Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried everything here. / Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool. / Bart: Well, sure you do. /
Lisa: How else would you know?"
It seems as though if you admit you're cool you are not because being cool is not caring. But if you're uncool, admitting that is acceptable--the song can be so lame that it's cool. But then how can you know if you're cool without asking and sounding like you're trying too hard? We all seem like we try so hard, trying different tactics of attaining coolness to get others to like you and according to the paradox, it leaves us uncool for trying too hard. This paradox of cool is a trap to make us think that reaching coolness will make us feel more significant.
Another paradox of cool is that being cool is being "real" and authentic. But especially as teens, we are all going through the struggle of finding ourselves so how can we be our authentic selves if we do not know what that is. In class we read an excerpt of Our Town by Thornton Wilder where two of the main characters, Emily and George were having a conversation about their feelings for each other, in this scene, the two characters were being sincere because they were not playing the "cool" role. We then compared this to the movie, Rebel Without a Cause starring James Dean who was an icon of cool. In this movie, the group of cool kids at the high school are constantly being ironic and trying to be funny and making jokes so they will be accepted by the others. In this comparison, the group of kids who are clearly trying to be funny are seen as the cool ones and the sincere couple are seen as just average teens. "We trap ourselves in this paradox where being a bad ass is cooler than being sincere," (Esther Dionisio 1/21/10) even though authenticity is a trait of coolness. This is another paradox as a trap to coolness.
On a website titled "How to Be Cool" there are several steps in attaining coolness. Number one is not caring what others think. Being indifferent, but still having a general view of how others perceive you. You have to be confident, be different, say what you think, laugh at yourself. Individualism is also an important aspect, be relaxed, and be social without coming on to strong to other people. There seems to be many regulations in being cool. One must be a unique individual, but unique isn’t always "cool", someone you can call unique can also be seen as weird in a negative way. And in one of my interviews, a girl is considered cool but she was not unique because she dressed like everyone else. There does not seem to be a clear way to differentiate the two, trying to be cool has many contradictions that prevent one from being cool; people feel disappointed and insignificant as a result of being rejected by coolness.
Capitalism influences competition and consuming commodities, it is a way of presenting what cool is and is a trap to make us run in circles following the trends spending money. The film, Merchants of Cool, portrays the message that the corporations manipulate teens because they are vulnerable. They take advantage of teens as an easy target for their profits. Capitalists find the easiest way to make the most profit, even if that means creating these roles and norms for teenagers and influencing them to be cool highly affecting their lives. Media holds huge role in our lifestyles, "the average teen in 2001 sees 3000 advertisements a day," so we fall into the trap that the newest item to purchase is cool because it is one of our main resources. We get caught in the trap of buying things that we think will make us cooler.
Capitalism convincing us to be cool for our money tells us to be a leader, not a follower. Being a leader according to capitalism is being able to get a large amount of people to like what you like and buy what you buy. Without followers there would be no leaders. If everyone wants to be the cool leader, the majority of them will not be able to reach coolness because only a select amount of people can be temporarily cool. Coolness is a trap that deludes people into believing anyone can reach coolness and become someone of importance but in reality only a select amount can.
Based on Friedman's lecture on the Psychology of Cool (12/8/09), giving others the power to determine your coolness makes you vulnerable, because teens are influenced by the idea of being cool, the vast majority of teens are insecure. Corporate companies take advantage of this and use it as a technique to target teenagers, "Teens are like Africa" (Merchants of Cool) they colonize our consciousness. We all want to be valued so the marketing companies use that and flatter the chosen audience (teens) to get their attention.
Running after coolness despite the traps of paradoxes and competition, allows you to fall under the larger trap of emptiness. We feel emptiness because we are always looking for happiness and significance and coolness so we are disappointed when we are faced with unhappiness. "Emptiness as a human condition is a sense of generalized boredom, social alienation and apathy. Feelings of emptiness often accompany depression, loneliness, [or] despair. “As Matt Fried says, humans are built with the ability to feel negative emotions as well as positive ones. We can't expect other people to determine our emotions when we give them the power to decide whether we are "cool," or not. Our insecurities lead us to wonder if we are accepted by others. Cool allows us to fall into the trap of emptiness when we are faced with negative emotions if we are not accepted in society.
Also relating to Ralph Ellison's, Invisible Man, the main character goes through a similar routine of cool and emptiness. He joins a brotherhood and feels a sense of importance, being "Introduced as a kind of hero"(358) that people care about. Over time he realizes that they were only using him as a tool, "a material, a natural resource to be used."(508) for their group and he says "I felt suddenly empty...Up to now I had felt a wholeness...wholeness that guaranteed that it would change the course of history."(406). He thought he would be a significant figure in the world filling/covering up his emptiness but lost that cover up over time. The connection between emptiness and cool in this case is being cool does not last for as long as you would want it to because things change and people move on and this leaves you with a feeling of emptiness.
In trying to being cool, we often look for a sense of importance to make us feel better about ourselves. We try to find our meaning in the world and we aggrandize ourselves to prove this meaning but often times the positive attention we want to receive is not always given to us. For example, tattoos can be seen as an addition or an extra part of someone's role they perform. It is a representation or imitation of part of their identity. Girls get small tattoos on their ankle, showing their gender (the ankle being seen as a feminine body part) or the tough guy getting a tattoo on their tri-cep (shown as masculinity). It is part of the costume of their performance. They adjust what they wear to show off their tattoo so it can be shown as apart of their character. Almost like a more permanent accessory, like the thick chain for boys and the thin for girls. Accessories of a character's costume are designed as signifiers to show gender, character and personality. Tattoos can be seen as a tactic to attract people into questioning their character. Trying to get people's attention and approval of "coolness," but even is someone is seen as "cool" because of the way one might aggrandize the self, it only lasts for a short period of time.
Trying to fit into the archetypes that best fit ourselves leaves us feeling empty when we cannot completely fulfill that role. For example in the movie The Breakfast Club, all of the general stereotypes are stuck in detention together, each of them playing the role that they fit into, "a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, a criminal...". They eventually become friends with each other despite the expectations of not associating with people outside of their social group.
This film showed the dominant views of the cool kids in a typical high school, the jock, the princess, and the rebel, and the uncool kids, the geek and the basket case (unique but uncool?). Each character fulfilled their archetype. In the beginning, "the princess," "the criminal" and "the athlete" think they are better than the others, "the brain" obediently sitting at his desk and "the basket case" in the back kind of just doing whatever she wants. Throughout the movie they escape these norms by admitting that they don't fit them.
The Brain:
I can't have an F, I can't have it
and I know my parents can't have it!
Even if I aced the rest of the
semester, I'm still only a B. And
everything's ruined for me!
He is struggling to fulfill expectations he and his parents have for him to be "the brain" that has straight A's.
The Princess:
I hate having to go
along with everything my friends say!...
You know, you just don't understand
the pressure that they can put on
you!
Although she does not always agree with what her friends say or do, she feels like she has to go along with them anyway in order to perform her part in their high school. She defies her norm by saying she does not like the pressure her friends put on her.
The Athlete:
it's all because of me and
my old man. Oh God, I fucking hate him!...
"Andrew, you've got to be number one! I
won't tolerate any losers in this
family... Win. Win! WIN!!!"...
sometimes, I wish... he
could forget all about me...
He cannot take the pressure he receives from his father who expects him to be a winner because he fears that he cannot fill that expectation.
The Basket Case:
My home life is un...satisfying...
[my parents] ignore me...
Although throughout the movie she comes off as a loner who does her own thing, she lacks attention from her parents that she wishes she had. She does not fill her archetype of the basket case by being independent because she wants attention from her parents.
The Criminal:
(as his father)
Stupid, worthless, no good, God
damned, freeloading, son of a bitch,
retarded, bigmouth, know it all,
asshole, jerk!
(as his mother)
You forgot ugly, lazy and
disrespectful.
As the criminal, he also has to fill the image of the loner who does whatever he wants but he wants his parent’s approval which is not part of his archetype. All five of these character fall under the trap of trying to be something because they are unable to fill those roles completely.
They all come to the conclusion that,” we’re all pretty bizarre! Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all." We all have problems and being "cool" or trying to be, is just a way of pretending that we are happy and avoiding/denying the fact that our lives are not perfect and our lives do not hold as much of a significance in the world as we would like them to. Each character in this film has felt some sort of emptiness because they feel that they were unsuitable for the "box" or the label they are in. No one can always be accepted by everyone, people are deluded to expect this so people fall under the trap of trying to be cool and not being able to reach it and thus feeling sadness or emptiness.
Overall we all look for the approval of others because of our insecurities and our own perspective of ourselves are not enough. It is a struggle we all go through trying not to listen to the opinions other people have of us. We place our trust in other peoples' judgments of ourselves and are faced with feeling empty and insignificant because we will not always hear positive feedback about our character or identity. Coolness is a tragic trap that convinces people being cool will make you important. Or maybe it isn't a trap for everyone. It is possible there is a group of people who try to be cool and just are, they are well liked and they fit their role because they adapt to it and they are happy. I would argue against this that happiness does not last forever so even if you attain coolness, there are still challenges and struggles that cool people have to make.
Personally, I believe that I have fallen into the trap of coolness. I fill my role in society as the smart nice girl but I am not always satisfied with this role, and I believe the archetype does not capture everything. The brain is more than just a nerd and the criminal is more than just a badass (or at least I'd like not think so). One's identity is covered and defied by the expectations and the norms. We are being labeled (by ourselves or others) before we can even really be sure of our own identities or who we want to be. Once you are in the trap it is not very easy to get out, it is a struggle to change your maps or change your boxes. How do we change the views of ourselves without looking like a poser? Does it matter what people think of us anyway? What do we do now?
Works Cited:
"Albert Camus." Wikipedia. 13 Dec 2009. Web. 17 Dec 2009. .
Dionisio, Esther. "Comments." People These Days. Blogger, 21 Jan 2010. Web. 24 Jan 2010.
Ellison, Ralph. Invisible Man. New York: Second Vintage International Edition, 1980. Print.
"Emptiness." Wikipedia. 29 Nov 2009. Web. 17 Dec 2009. .
"Existentialism." Wikipedia. 17 Dec 2009. Web. 17 Dec 2009. .
Fried, Matt. "Psychology of Cool." Social Studies Class. 127 e 22nd, New York. 08 Dec 2009. Lecture.
Goodman, Barak, Dir. Merchants of Cool. PBS: 2001, Film.
"How To Be Cool ." iloveindia.com. Web. 7 Dec 2009. .
Hughes, John. "The Breakfast Club." awesomefilm.com. 1985. WDBG@AOL.COM, Web. 7 Dec 2009. .
Ray, Nicholas, Dir. Rebel Without a Cause . Warner Brothers: 1955, Film.
"Theories of cool." wikipedia.org. 2000. Web. 7 Dec 2009. .
Wilder, Thornton. Our Town. New York, NY: 1938. Print.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
HW 36- Triangle Partner Help
Esther-
I got that your main idea was that we are puppets and we allow the idea of cool to control the way we present ourselves. I would rephrase this, as, we are puppets of coolness allowing it to control our presentation of self. I'm not sure if that is the best way to word your thesis, but is it another possible idea for you to work with.
We allow what we perceive as cool to control the way we identify ourselves to then apply that to how we present our character. We try to give off the right signals so people will see us in the way we want to be seen. For example, in the James Dean movie, Rebel Without a Cause, the main character was presented with what was cool at the beginning. Being ironic, making jokes, and presenting masculinity was cool to him. He allowed this perception of cool to control the way he began to act at his school. He sends off signals of cool and masculine by smoking cigarettes, and competing with the other cool masculine character. He sent off these signals because he wanted people to see him as a cool guy.
When you say "We do this to fill this emptiness in ourselves. Some sort of hole is created from our lives and to fill this we strive to make ourselves feel much better about ourselves." It might be interesting to include where this emptiness comes from to begin with.
I like the connection you made to the Fefe Dobson song but I think it would make your arument stronger if you analyzed the lyrics a little more and connected that back to your thesis.
Finally, just conclude everything and summarize all your arguments and maybe include some of your own final thoughts, you suggested I do that in my previous essay and I think it worked out pretty well so I think you should try it out too.
This is a good rough draft!
-Sandy
Omar- I would rewrite your thesis as: Cool is an unstoppable addiction to personal connections.
People seem to be so caught up in aggrandizing themeselves they are deluded by the real reason they try to make themselves look a certain way. Most people say "I do it because I like it" or "I do it for me" when people ask why they do something to present themselves a certain way. In reality, people aggrandize their self to send off signals and clues to allow people to see their identity. For examples, girls may swing their hips while they walk so people will see their feminity and understand clearly that that person is a girl. Whereas a boy might walk more stifly to express masculinity so people understand that the boy is a boy. People are so addicted and identified with their presentation of cool, the are deluded by the reality of their performance.
You have lots of great arguments but I think you just need to include some evidence to back up those arguements.
you say, "We go to great lengths and put ourselves through extreme circumstances to connect with others. We are willing to pierce our skin and have tattoos drawn on our skin. We are willing to dye our hair, burn our hair, wear fake hair just to impress and connect with others. We even have surgery to change our appearance so that we can feel more accepted and connected to others."
you could use evidence from Fanning, Matt Fried, some of the internet sources Andy provided when we had to do the tattoo post, and from the Hair chapter in The Body Social.
I also think it would be helpful if you organized your arguments to easily include the evidence to the arguments.
This is a good start!
-Sandy
I got that your main idea was that we are puppets and we allow the idea of cool to control the way we present ourselves. I would rephrase this, as, we are puppets of coolness allowing it to control our presentation of self. I'm not sure if that is the best way to word your thesis, but is it another possible idea for you to work with.
We allow what we perceive as cool to control the way we identify ourselves to then apply that to how we present our character. We try to give off the right signals so people will see us in the way we want to be seen. For example, in the James Dean movie, Rebel Without a Cause, the main character was presented with what was cool at the beginning. Being ironic, making jokes, and presenting masculinity was cool to him. He allowed this perception of cool to control the way he began to act at his school. He sends off signals of cool and masculine by smoking cigarettes, and competing with the other cool masculine character. He sent off these signals because he wanted people to see him as a cool guy.
When you say "We do this to fill this emptiness in ourselves. Some sort of hole is created from our lives and to fill this we strive to make ourselves feel much better about ourselves." It might be interesting to include where this emptiness comes from to begin with.
I like the connection you made to the Fefe Dobson song but I think it would make your arument stronger if you analyzed the lyrics a little more and connected that back to your thesis.
Finally, just conclude everything and summarize all your arguments and maybe include some of your own final thoughts, you suggested I do that in my previous essay and I think it worked out pretty well so I think you should try it out too.
This is a good rough draft!
-Sandy
Omar- I would rewrite your thesis as: Cool is an unstoppable addiction to personal connections.
People seem to be so caught up in aggrandizing themeselves they are deluded by the real reason they try to make themselves look a certain way. Most people say "I do it because I like it" or "I do it for me" when people ask why they do something to present themselves a certain way. In reality, people aggrandize their self to send off signals and clues to allow people to see their identity. For examples, girls may swing their hips while they walk so people will see their feminity and understand clearly that that person is a girl. Whereas a boy might walk more stifly to express masculinity so people understand that the boy is a boy. People are so addicted and identified with their presentation of cool, the are deluded by the reality of their performance.
You have lots of great arguments but I think you just need to include some evidence to back up those arguements.
you say, "We go to great lengths and put ourselves through extreme circumstances to connect with others. We are willing to pierce our skin and have tattoos drawn on our skin. We are willing to dye our hair, burn our hair, wear fake hair just to impress and connect with others. We even have surgery to change our appearance so that we can feel more accepted and connected to others."
you could use evidence from Fanning, Matt Fried, some of the internet sources Andy provided when we had to do the tattoo post, and from the Hair chapter in The Body Social.
I also think it would be helpful if you organized your arguments to easily include the evidence to the arguments.
This is a good start!
-Sandy
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