Part 3:
The perspective that caught my attention the most was Sean J's parent centered way of parenting. In the majority of the families I have seen, children are being raised based on their needs. Where the parent's issues come after the child's. Sean J's way seems to allow the child to learn respect for other people at a very young age. In addition, the marital relationship is strong which sets a good example for the children and becomes the basis of a strong family.
Another interesting idea about parenting that came up when Mr. M came in to talk to us. He discussed how working class parents raise their children compared to how upper class parnts raise their children. Generally, working class parents accomplish natural growth in the child whereas the middle/upper class see children as projects to be developed. This difference between the social classes in how children are raised makes me wonder, which way is more effective, how do the results in how the children grow up to be vary?
Part 4:
This unit helped me to make sense of my own experience growing up with working class parents. Based on what was discussed on Mr. M's visit, parents in working class seem to be more leanient and natural when raising children. I was basically raised as my parents were, with some guidelines but with the freedom to make my own choices. ( which makes me wonder, do the majoirty of people raise children the way we were raised? If so, how can the cycle be broken?) The way I was raised seemed to be a more natural way of growth when compared to the developmental project that middle and upper class parents have to raise their children.
An insight that I think would be helpful for me as a parent, is to see how the type of parent affects the outcome of the child, shown in the Baumrind's article, there are three main ways of parenting and each method has different results. Looking at this from the perspective of parenting, one can see the pros and cons to these different ways of parenting. In addition, it helps to see that when a parent choses possibly one or a mixure of parenting methods, they see what problems the child would have to face and thus they would have to deal with as the parent.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Parenting 101- HW 57
How should kids be parented?
What should be the social arrangements? An extended family, nuclear family, a village, corporate day care?
I believe an extended family is beneficial in raising a child so the child has a variety of people to rely on, whereas a nuclear family seems to be very limited and forced. To me it seems that a nuclear family is staged and unrealistic. From my own personal experience and family situations I have heard from friends, most families are not nuclear families. My family I believe is effective in raising me and my brothers and the families of my friends seem to be effective as well. How can one determine the effectiveness of a family? By how successfull they are? How can one measure the value of a person?
What should be the guiding principles? Love? Obedience? Loving obedience? Humor? Empowerment? Subordination? Time outs? Separate cribs or co-sleeping? Breast feeding or bottle? Child-centered or parent-centered? etc.
Some of the guiding principles in parenting are, loving disobedience, humor, and a balance between child centered and parent centered. The child should be able to be obedient with the parent and understand the reasons behind why they have to listen to their parents, but children should also feel comfortable around their parents. In addition, parents must know how to raise the children with a child-centered intention. And as the child grows more responsibilities, they become responsible for centering in on their parents.
What were the best parts of how you were parented (since the worst parts don't really belong in a public class blog)?
I was very close with both my parents when I was younger. Both my parents gave me the freedom to be myself but had necessary limitations and disciplinaries in learning to become a responsible person. In addition, I became close with other parent-like figures in my family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. This allowed me to learn from them in addition to learning from my parents.
a
How do you think you'd parent if you're put in that position?
I believe I would parent simialr to how I was parented, mainly because that is mostly what I know when it comes to parenting. In addition, I would try and imagine, as the child, what I would want a parent-like figure to do in a certain situation and fulfill that need for the child (comfort, encouragement, space, advice, etc.)
Diana Baumrind's (1966) Prototypical Descriptions of 3 Parenting Styles
This article breaks down parenting into three types of parents. Authorative, authoritarian, and permissive. The article describes the types of parenting and how the children tend to be as the grow up. The authoritive parent accepts the child still has guidelines for them, "The authoritative parent affirms the child's present qualities, but also sets standards for future conduct." The authoritarian parent tries to shape the child, "She believes in keeping the child in his place, , in restricting his autonomy, and in assigning household responsibilities in order to inculcate respect for work." Finally, the permissive parent gives minimal orders and allows the child to make decisions for themself. "She allows the child to regulate his own activities as much as possible, avoids the exercise of control, and does not encourage him to obey externally defined standards."
The affects these types of parents have of the children are different for each type of parent. For the authoritive parent, the child tends to be more confident and goes against the grain (does not conform to of gender roles), and they tend to be more social. I believe this is true because, the parent allows freedom for who the child is, but still has regulations that make the feel comfortable. The authoritairan parent raises a child that is successfull in school work but has an unhappy disposition contrasting with the child raised by the authorative parent. I think this makes sense because they are raised to listen to the authorative figure and remains insecure when they need to think for themself. Permissive parents, raise rebellious children and antisocial behavior I believe because the parents have so little regulations, it makes the child feel as if they do not care, leading them to being antisocial and rebelling. Based on how I see myself and how I was raised, I think my parents are a balance between authorative and permissive.
What should be the social arrangements? An extended family, nuclear family, a village, corporate day care?
I believe an extended family is beneficial in raising a child so the child has a variety of people to rely on, whereas a nuclear family seems to be very limited and forced. To me it seems that a nuclear family is staged and unrealistic. From my own personal experience and family situations I have heard from friends, most families are not nuclear families. My family I believe is effective in raising me and my brothers and the families of my friends seem to be effective as well. How can one determine the effectiveness of a family? By how successfull they are? How can one measure the value of a person?
What should be the guiding principles? Love? Obedience? Loving obedience? Humor? Empowerment? Subordination? Time outs? Separate cribs or co-sleeping? Breast feeding or bottle? Child-centered or parent-centered? etc.
Some of the guiding principles in parenting are, loving disobedience, humor, and a balance between child centered and parent centered. The child should be able to be obedient with the parent and understand the reasons behind why they have to listen to their parents, but children should also feel comfortable around their parents. In addition, parents must know how to raise the children with a child-centered intention. And as the child grows more responsibilities, they become responsible for centering in on their parents.
What were the best parts of how you were parented (since the worst parts don't really belong in a public class blog)?
I was very close with both my parents when I was younger. Both my parents gave me the freedom to be myself but had necessary limitations and disciplinaries in learning to become a responsible person. In addition, I became close with other parent-like figures in my family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. This allowed me to learn from them in addition to learning from my parents.
a
How do you think you'd parent if you're put in that position?
I believe I would parent simialr to how I was parented, mainly because that is mostly what I know when it comes to parenting. In addition, I would try and imagine, as the child, what I would want a parent-like figure to do in a certain situation and fulfill that need for the child (comfort, encouragement, space, advice, etc.)
Diana Baumrind's (1966) Prototypical Descriptions of 3 Parenting Styles
This article breaks down parenting into three types of parents. Authorative, authoritarian, and permissive. The article describes the types of parenting and how the children tend to be as the grow up. The authoritive parent accepts the child still has guidelines for them, "The authoritative parent affirms the child's present qualities, but also sets standards for future conduct." The authoritarian parent tries to shape the child, "She believes in keeping the child in his place, , in restricting his autonomy, and in assigning household responsibilities in order to inculcate respect for work." Finally, the permissive parent gives minimal orders and allows the child to make decisions for themself. "She allows the child to regulate his own activities as much as possible, avoids the exercise of control, and does not encourage him to obey externally defined standards."
The affects these types of parents have of the children are different for each type of parent. For the authoritive parent, the child tends to be more confident and goes against the grain (does not conform to of gender roles), and they tend to be more social. I believe this is true because, the parent allows freedom for who the child is, but still has regulations that make the feel comfortable. The authoritairan parent raises a child that is successfull in school work but has an unhappy disposition contrasting with the child raised by the authorative parent. I think this makes sense because they are raised to listen to the authorative figure and remains insecure when they need to think for themself. Permissive parents, raise rebellious children and antisocial behavior I believe because the parents have so little regulations, it makes the child feel as if they do not care, leading them to being antisocial and rebelling. Based on how I see myself and how I was raised, I think my parents are a balance between authorative and permissive.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
HW 56
What do you think makes a good friendship?
Interview 1:
One must be able to relate and feel comfortable around the person they are friends with. In addition friends should be able to trust one another.
Interview 2:
Common experiences and interests common ideology. Friends should have some similar background so they have something to connect with each other about.
Interview 3:
Three main factors into a good friendship are, trust, loyalty, and being understandable with each other, "its not all about me, its about us" attitude. Leaning more towards the fusion than the autonomy aspects of relationships.
Interview 4:
Mutuality is probably an important factor. There should be a sense that you can be needed by, and you can need your friend- maybe "want" would be more appropriate. But friendship requires trust; that if I am willing to open myself up- if I am willing to leave a crack in my wall for you, that you won't betray me and use that trust to hurt me. And hopefully, in return, you would do the same.
Generally, trust and relatability seem to be the primary reoccuring aspects that strengthen a friendship.
How much do you think proximity affects friendship?
#1:
I see ***** once a week and we're still good friends. As long as you talk to the person constantly, one can still have a good friendship.
#2:
Proximity has a very profound affect on friendship, when you're forced to be around people, you're more likely going to interact with then. Like in school, students share common experiences and will interact with one another, but this can lead to friendships or enemies, it is not always a positive relationship.
#3:
I'm closer with ******(1) (her neighbor) than I am with ******(2) (friend who she used to go to school with and recently moved to Canada). But when ******(2) lived here I was closer with her than ******(1).
#4:
Well I think that it depends on the type of friendship that you have. For friendships that are more based on sharing our stories, as each of us live through them, it would require the friends to be relatively close. Otherwise, there would seem like there are missing chapters. However, if the friendship is based on something like sports, those friends can maintain the same level of friendship, even after months of not seeing the other person.
In addition to proximity, how often you see the person has an affect on the friendship.
Honesty?
#1&2:
If there no honesty, there is no trust, and if there is no trust, there is no friendship. Just like *****, I can't trust him to come to practice, so now we're not friends anymore.
#3:
You want to hear the truth from your friends. If they are not honest with you, are they really your friend?
#4
This ties back to what I said in response to the question about proximity. If people lie to you, it's like they're telling you a story that is not even their own. Honesty is definitely something that is needed, but hardly ever there. Because without it, either sides of the friendship could easily feel betrayed.
Long Distance Relationships?
#1:
They could work. Its possible.
#2:
They need to start in close proximity. Once the bond has strengthened enough, then one can survive a long distance relationship.
#3:
they never work...I guess it depends...I don't think they work.
There seems to be mixed opinions on long distance relationships.
#4
Most of us would hope that it works, but I guess that if it doesn't, then maybe those people weren't true friends, rather they were just a temporary distraction, or temporary stress-reliever.
What do you think is a more significant factor in friendship? Honesty? or Proximity?
#1&2: Honesty
#4: Honesty
Overall, some aspects of friendship tend to be, commonalities, trustworthy-ness, loyalty, friends should be comfortable with each other, friends should have similar backgrounds to connect with each other, proximity, honesty, and how often you see the person. So the ideal friend must be some combination of all of these factors.
Survey Question: What is more important to you in a friend, proximity? or honesty?
Interview 1:
One must be able to relate and feel comfortable around the person they are friends with. In addition friends should be able to trust one another.
Interview 2:
Common experiences and interests common ideology. Friends should have some similar background so they have something to connect with each other about.
Interview 3:
Three main factors into a good friendship are, trust, loyalty, and being understandable with each other, "its not all about me, its about us" attitude. Leaning more towards the fusion than the autonomy aspects of relationships.
Interview 4:
Mutuality is probably an important factor. There should be a sense that you can be needed by, and you can need your friend- maybe "want" would be more appropriate. But friendship requires trust; that if I am willing to open myself up- if I am willing to leave a crack in my wall for you, that you won't betray me and use that trust to hurt me. And hopefully, in return, you would do the same.
Generally, trust and relatability seem to be the primary reoccuring aspects that strengthen a friendship.
How much do you think proximity affects friendship?
#1:
I see ***** once a week and we're still good friends. As long as you talk to the person constantly, one can still have a good friendship.
#2:
Proximity has a very profound affect on friendship, when you're forced to be around people, you're more likely going to interact with then. Like in school, students share common experiences and will interact with one another, but this can lead to friendships or enemies, it is not always a positive relationship.
#3:
I'm closer with ******(1) (her neighbor) than I am with ******(2) (friend who she used to go to school with and recently moved to Canada). But when ******(2) lived here I was closer with her than ******(1).
#4:
Well I think that it depends on the type of friendship that you have. For friendships that are more based on sharing our stories, as each of us live through them, it would require the friends to be relatively close. Otherwise, there would seem like there are missing chapters. However, if the friendship is based on something like sports, those friends can maintain the same level of friendship, even after months of not seeing the other person.
In addition to proximity, how often you see the person has an affect on the friendship.
Honesty?
#1&2:
If there no honesty, there is no trust, and if there is no trust, there is no friendship. Just like *****, I can't trust him to come to practice, so now we're not friends anymore.
#3:
You want to hear the truth from your friends. If they are not honest with you, are they really your friend?
#4
This ties back to what I said in response to the question about proximity. If people lie to you, it's like they're telling you a story that is not even their own. Honesty is definitely something that is needed, but hardly ever there. Because without it, either sides of the friendship could easily feel betrayed.
Long Distance Relationships?
#1:
They could work. Its possible.
#2:
They need to start in close proximity. Once the bond has strengthened enough, then one can survive a long distance relationship.
#3:
they never work...I guess it depends...I don't think they work.
There seems to be mixed opinions on long distance relationships.
#4
Most of us would hope that it works, but I guess that if it doesn't, then maybe those people weren't true friends, rather they were just a temporary distraction, or temporary stress-reliever.
What do you think is a more significant factor in friendship? Honesty? or Proximity?
#1&2: Honesty
#4: Honesty
Overall, some aspects of friendship tend to be, commonalities, trustworthy-ness, loyalty, friends should be comfortable with each other, friends should have similar backgrounds to connect with each other, proximity, honesty, and how often you see the person. So the ideal friend must be some combination of all of these factors.
Survey Question: What is more important to you in a friend, proximity? or honesty?
Monday, May 10, 2010
HW 55- Research Question/Topic
What are the primary factors that strengthen and weaken friendships?
Making And Keeping Friends A Self-Help Guide
According to this website, interests seems to be an important factor to a good friendship. If friends share the same interests, they have more things to connect with each other about. In addition, the article says friend should have a variety of interests and develop interests in different things.
This website also says that one should enjoy spending time alone and should not be so dependent on friends. "Desperation can drive others away" similar to the concepts of fusion vs autonomy we talked about in class. When one tries to fuse with another, they become autonomous. If someone is too dependent on a friend, the friend might feel overwhelmed by their dependency and feel the need to spend time alone.
Another important factor to friendships is to communicate openly, friends must trust each other. "Watch the response you are getting from the person or people you are talking to so you can know if this is the right time to be sharing this information or the right subject for the person." My interpretation of this is that friends should not sensor their emotions but they should know when the right time is to share these emotions.
Are Your Friends Really Friends?
"We all know that friends are important our lives. They keep you company when you are bored and they love you when you are sick or sad. But this isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about the fact that your friends are (other than your parents) the most influential people in your life. You spend hours upon hours with these people and after a while you start to mimic their behavior. Your friends change you."
This seems fairly true to some extent but it is a very bold statement when the author says "your friends are the most influential people in your life" I do agree that friends do have a huge impact on my life in particular but is this true of most people? (possible survey question).
According to this website, honesty is an important factor in a strong friendship, if you feel like you can't be yourself, or if you do not feel comfortable around your friends, they may not be you "true friends."
Some Friends, Indeed, Do More Harm Than Good
"Not all friends have such a salutary effect. Some lie, insult and betray. Some are overly needy. Some give too much advice." These are the primary factors that weaken friendships according to this New York Times article. Similar to the previous article, honesty is a factor in a strong friendship and lies allow for weak friendships. Overly needy being a factor in a bad friendship, similar to the first article, one should not be too dependent on their friends.
Recipe for Good Friendship
"Our relationships to each other are quite similar to our relationships to food. There are friends or families whom we see every day, just as there are food items we eat almost every day, like bread..." This is an interesting analogy, I'm not sure how much I agree with this.
"We tend to assume that friends we see more frequently are better friends, but this is not necessarily the case...I had always known deep down that if I were to depend on them for help in a significant way, they would not come through. On the other hand, I had and still have friends whom I rarely see, but can count on to help me for virtually anything." It seems as though we are friends with people who are easy to be friends with and we end up considering them our close friends. The people we see every day may not be the friends we have the strongest relationships with, but the friendships with these people are easy so we just go through the motions with them. I believe that it is also possible for your closest friend to be someone you see everyday, not because it is easy to be close with them but because you actually feel connected with them because you share similar interests and you feel you can trust them as stated in previous articles. Maybe it is just coincidence that the people we are close to are the people we happen to see every day. Or maybe we just grow accustomed to them because we see them every day. I believe that spending time with the people you are close to does make a friendship stronger but there is also a dependency on the people and how you connect with them.
Making And Keeping Friends A Self-Help Guide
According to this website, interests seems to be an important factor to a good friendship. If friends share the same interests, they have more things to connect with each other about. In addition, the article says friend should have a variety of interests and develop interests in different things.
This website also says that one should enjoy spending time alone and should not be so dependent on friends. "Desperation can drive others away" similar to the concepts of fusion vs autonomy we talked about in class. When one tries to fuse with another, they become autonomous. If someone is too dependent on a friend, the friend might feel overwhelmed by their dependency and feel the need to spend time alone.
Another important factor to friendships is to communicate openly, friends must trust each other. "Watch the response you are getting from the person or people you are talking to so you can know if this is the right time to be sharing this information or the right subject for the person." My interpretation of this is that friends should not sensor their emotions but they should know when the right time is to share these emotions.
Are Your Friends Really Friends?
"We all know that friends are important our lives. They keep you company when you are bored and they love you when you are sick or sad. But this isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about the fact that your friends are (other than your parents) the most influential people in your life. You spend hours upon hours with these people and after a while you start to mimic their behavior. Your friends change you."
This seems fairly true to some extent but it is a very bold statement when the author says "your friends are the most influential people in your life" I do agree that friends do have a huge impact on my life in particular but is this true of most people? (possible survey question).
According to this website, honesty is an important factor in a strong friendship, if you feel like you can't be yourself, or if you do not feel comfortable around your friends, they may not be you "true friends."
Some Friends, Indeed, Do More Harm Than Good
"Not all friends have such a salutary effect. Some lie, insult and betray. Some are overly needy. Some give too much advice." These are the primary factors that weaken friendships according to this New York Times article. Similar to the previous article, honesty is a factor in a strong friendship and lies allow for weak friendships. Overly needy being a factor in a bad friendship, similar to the first article, one should not be too dependent on their friends.
Recipe for Good Friendship
"Our relationships to each other are quite similar to our relationships to food. There are friends or families whom we see every day, just as there are food items we eat almost every day, like bread..." This is an interesting analogy, I'm not sure how much I agree with this.
"We tend to assume that friends we see more frequently are better friends, but this is not necessarily the case...I had always known deep down that if I were to depend on them for help in a significant way, they would not come through. On the other hand, I had and still have friends whom I rarely see, but can count on to help me for virtually anything." It seems as though we are friends with people who are easy to be friends with and we end up considering them our close friends. The people we see every day may not be the friends we have the strongest relationships with, but the friendships with these people are easy so we just go through the motions with them. I believe that it is also possible for your closest friend to be someone you see everyday, not because it is easy to be close with them but because you actually feel connected with them because you share similar interests and you feel you can trust them as stated in previous articles. Maybe it is just coincidence that the people we are close to are the people we happen to see every day. Or maybe we just grow accustomed to them because we see them every day. I believe that spending time with the people you are close to does make a friendship stronger but there is also a dependency on the people and how you connect with them.
HW 54 Jung Test
Jung Test Results
Introverted (I) 53.33% Extroverted (E) 46.67%
Intuitive (N) 60% Sensing (S) 40%
Feeling (F) 52.63% Thinking (T) 47.37%
Perceiving (P) 60% Judging (J) 40%
Your type is: INFP
INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.
These results are useful because it allows for us to see who we are. As teenagers, we feel these insecurities about who we are, these results give us a definite answer as to our personalities and what type of people we are. It is also useful in the aspect of other people to see how our personalities interact with other people. If we are outgoing or social, we interact better with others, like someone who is Extroverted. Someone Introverted might have more trouble interacting with others. How does this interaction help us in our own lives? Is it better to be introverted or extroverted? Extroverted people seem to be more well liked and well known in society. Introverted people seem more about their own progression. Which is more effective? How do we get to be like this? can someone's personality change?
After taking the test, I feel that the results are pretty accurate. I asked my older brother and my cousin to take the test after I guessed what their results would be based on my own perception of these two people. I guessed fairly correctly and I found that my brother (both of them actually) are very similar to me and we get along pretty well. Contrasting with the results of my cousin who I also get along with. She was the exact opposite of me. In drawing conclusions to "appreciating differences" and "maximizing compatibility," I feel that in this case specifically, I am able to deal with both relationships. But the fact that both relationships are family relationships, there is an obligation to deal with them, I now know how to deal with them. Similar to a theory brought up in class that family affects the type of personality we have.
Introverted (I) 53.33% Extroverted (E) 46.67%
Intuitive (N) 60% Sensing (S) 40%
Feeling (F) 52.63% Thinking (T) 47.37%
Perceiving (P) 60% Judging (J) 40%
Your type is: INFP
INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.
These results are useful because it allows for us to see who we are. As teenagers, we feel these insecurities about who we are, these results give us a definite answer as to our personalities and what type of people we are. It is also useful in the aspect of other people to see how our personalities interact with other people. If we are outgoing or social, we interact better with others, like someone who is Extroverted. Someone Introverted might have more trouble interacting with others. How does this interaction help us in our own lives? Is it better to be introverted or extroverted? Extroverted people seem to be more well liked and well known in society. Introverted people seem more about their own progression. Which is more effective? How do we get to be like this? can someone's personality change?
After taking the test, I feel that the results are pretty accurate. I asked my older brother and my cousin to take the test after I guessed what their results would be based on my own perception of these two people. I guessed fairly correctly and I found that my brother (both of them actually) are very similar to me and we get along pretty well. Contrasting with the results of my cousin who I also get along with. She was the exact opposite of me. In drawing conclusions to "appreciating differences" and "maximizing compatibility," I feel that in this case specifically, I am able to deal with both relationships. But the fact that both relationships are family relationships, there is an obligation to deal with them, I now know how to deal with them. Similar to a theory brought up in class that family affects the type of personality we have.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Survey Analysis- Hw 53
Taking the survey felt pretty okay, I didn't really have too much trouble answering questions, some of them related to my personal life that I normally wouldn't feel comfortable answering if the survey was not anonymous, so that part of the survey was effective. An interesting question was in the self, politics section, "This culture sees me as a success." I feel like there are several levels of success. There's the success in the family, where your family accepts your accomplishments, then in the school, how well you do as a student, and on the bigger scale, state wide or nation wide. Personally, it made me think of applying to college and the difference in success in high school and success in college. Success in high school could be the equivalent of failure at a highly prestigious college. Which is more accepted in American culture?
Some interesting results I noticed, was that, generally there is a prominant reliance on family and friends. The majority of the people who did the survey seem to be on good terms with their family and have reliable friends they can depend on. For the questions, "You trust your family." the majority answered yes, In addition, the majority said they have at least one friend they tell virtually everything too. This makes me wonder, why do we have such a self reliance on other people? And what are the drawbacks and benefits to these self reliances?
The "DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND MENTAL HYGIENE..." article had different results than the results from the survey. Specifically in the partnering-romance-sexuality section. According to the article, 50% of New York high schoolers have had sexual intercorse whereas in our survey said 32.7% of those who answered have been sexually active. This experience of comparison shows the inaccuracy in the informal quick survey. There are many factors that can affect our research. If not everyone answers the questions, or if people are dishonest in answering the questions. There is a possiblity both surveys are true but our survey only included our school which could also affect the results of the reseach we are looking for. This means we must be specific in our research and keep in mind the factors affecting our results.
Some interesting results I noticed, was that, generally there is a prominant reliance on family and friends. The majority of the people who did the survey seem to be on good terms with their family and have reliable friends they can depend on. For the questions, "You trust your family." the majority answered yes, In addition, the majority said they have at least one friend they tell virtually everything too. This makes me wonder, why do we have such a self reliance on other people? And what are the drawbacks and benefits to these self reliances?
The "DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND MENTAL HYGIENE..." article had different results than the results from the survey. Specifically in the partnering-romance-sexuality section. According to the article, 50% of New York high schoolers have had sexual intercorse whereas in our survey said 32.7% of those who answered have been sexually active. This experience of comparison shows the inaccuracy in the informal quick survey. There are many factors that can affect our research. If not everyone answers the questions, or if people are dishonest in answering the questions. There is a possiblity both surveys are true but our survey only included our school which could also affect the results of the reseach we are looking for. This means we must be specific in our research and keep in mind the factors affecting our results.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Initial Theories of Human Relationships- HW 52
Some initial thoughts I had about human relationships were decency and respect. People expect others to treat the people we don't know nicely to give them a good first impression. And for the people we do know, we are allowed to treat them with disrespect and it is seen as "tough love." But I believe the expectation of treating them with respect is still present. I'm not quite sure what makes more sense, because if it were reversed, where we are rude to the people we don't know we might never get to know them from that point, and if we are nice to the people we know, how did we get to know them initially if at one poit we did not know them? In addition this whole "tough love" thing is sort of saying, 'I'm honest with you because I respect you' at least this is what I've heard. But we are seemingly respectful to the people we don't know when actually, we don't resepct them enough to tell them the truth.
In the script of human relationships, it is often that people expect more from certain people than others. I would expect loyalty from a closer friend than from someone I don't talk to as much. But What determines a close friend from just someone you know? My answer (which I wouldn't say is the best answer) would be someone who I trust to talk a bout personal things and someone I spend a good amount of my time with. This determination may not be mutual between the two. How do you deal with something like this? If I felt close to someone but they do not feel close to me? Going back to expectations, is it fair for me to expect more from someone I consider as a close friend if they don't consider me a close friend? Issues like this in friendships and relationships seem to be taboo, people don't seem very comfortable talking about the script and going with it or against it. It leaves room for awkwardness if there is no balance in the expectations.
In looking at ths scripts of how people live together, I've noticed people believe their household is not normal if it is not like the tv family where they have dinner together and talk about their day. Is that a normal family? Is there such thing as a normal family? What is the significance of family bonds? bonds with friends? associates? How do the values of these relationships differ between situations? When do friends become family? What is the criteria required for someone to be apart of a family?
I also thought about the difference between what people say and what they actually mean. What should you believe? Should you go with what you think is best for them or for you? I guess it depends on the situation. But why are there hidden messages in what people say anyway? It seems like there is a problem with honesty, people don't want to say what they mean for whatever reason. Is it better to hide the truth from someone you care about or be honest with them and let them know the truth as opposed to allowing them to go on thinking the truth is a lie? Personally, I'd rather you tell me the truth. I don't want you to sensor things for me or be the judge of what I should or shouldn't know. If it does hurt me, it is something I would be able to deal with. But I have been guilty of not being completely honest with people. Perhaps we need to have a sense of who wants to hear the truth and who does not. But should we base what we say on what others want to hear or based on what we want to say?
Another question I thought about was, how do we deal with other people's opinions about us or feelings toward us? It seems as though we simply reciprocate other people's feelings toward us. When someone respects us, we respect them back. When someone dislikes us, there is an immediate dislike reciprocated simply because they do not accept them. Why would you approve of someone who does not approve of you? Maybe it has to do with a sense of power, that if they don't like me, they have the power to judge me so I'm going to show them I have that power too by not liking them in return and gossiping about it with the people who do like me and accept me, or at least appear to.
In the script of human relationships, it is often that people expect more from certain people than others. I would expect loyalty from a closer friend than from someone I don't talk to as much. But What determines a close friend from just someone you know? My answer (which I wouldn't say is the best answer) would be someone who I trust to talk a bout personal things and someone I spend a good amount of my time with. This determination may not be mutual between the two. How do you deal with something like this? If I felt close to someone but they do not feel close to me? Going back to expectations, is it fair for me to expect more from someone I consider as a close friend if they don't consider me a close friend? Issues like this in friendships and relationships seem to be taboo, people don't seem very comfortable talking about the script and going with it or against it. It leaves room for awkwardness if there is no balance in the expectations.
In looking at ths scripts of how people live together, I've noticed people believe their household is not normal if it is not like the tv family where they have dinner together and talk about their day. Is that a normal family? Is there such thing as a normal family? What is the significance of family bonds? bonds with friends? associates? How do the values of these relationships differ between situations? When do friends become family? What is the criteria required for someone to be apart of a family?
I also thought about the difference between what people say and what they actually mean. What should you believe? Should you go with what you think is best for them or for you? I guess it depends on the situation. But why are there hidden messages in what people say anyway? It seems like there is a problem with honesty, people don't want to say what they mean for whatever reason. Is it better to hide the truth from someone you care about or be honest with them and let them know the truth as opposed to allowing them to go on thinking the truth is a lie? Personally, I'd rather you tell me the truth. I don't want you to sensor things for me or be the judge of what I should or shouldn't know. If it does hurt me, it is something I would be able to deal with. But I have been guilty of not being completely honest with people. Perhaps we need to have a sense of who wants to hear the truth and who does not. But should we base what we say on what others want to hear or based on what we want to say?
Another question I thought about was, how do we deal with other people's opinions about us or feelings toward us? It seems as though we simply reciprocate other people's feelings toward us. When someone respects us, we respect them back. When someone dislikes us, there is an immediate dislike reciprocated simply because they do not accept them. Why would you approve of someone who does not approve of you? Maybe it has to do with a sense of power, that if they don't like me, they have the power to judge me so I'm going to show them I have that power too by not liking them in return and gossiping about it with the people who do like me and accept me, or at least appear to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)