Initial Theories of Human Relationships- HW 52

Some initial thoughts I had about human relationships were decency and respect. People expect others to treat the people we don't know nicely to give them a good first impression. And for the people we do know, we are allowed to treat them with disrespect and it is seen as "tough love." But I believe the expectation of treating them with respect is still present. I'm not quite sure what makes more sense, because if it were reversed, where we are rude to the people we don't know we might never get to know them from that point, and if we are nice to the people we know, how did we get to know them initially if at one poit we did not know them? In addition this whole "tough love" thing is sort of saying, 'I'm honest with you because I respect you' at least this is what I've heard. But we are seemingly respectful to the people we don't know when actually, we don't resepct them enough to tell them the truth.

In the script of human relationships, it is often that people expect more from certain people than others. I would expect loyalty from a closer friend than from someone I don't talk to as much. But What determines a close friend from just someone you know? My answer (which I wouldn't say is the best answer) would be someone who I trust to talk a bout personal things and someone I spend a good amount of my time with. This determination may not be mutual between the two. How do you deal with something like this? If I felt close to someone but they do not feel close to me? Going back to expectations, is it fair for me to expect more from someone I consider as a close friend if they don't consider me a close friend? Issues like this in friendships and relationships seem to be taboo, people don't seem very comfortable talking about the script and going with it or against it. It leaves room for awkwardness if there is no balance in the expectations.

In looking at ths scripts of how people live together, I've noticed people believe their household is not normal if it is not like the tv family where they have dinner together and talk about their day. Is that a normal family? Is there such thing as a normal family? What is the significance of family bonds? bonds with friends? associates? How do the values of these relationships differ between situations? When do friends become family? What is the criteria required for someone to be apart of a family?

I also thought about the difference between what people say and what they actually mean. What should you believe? Should you go with what you think is best for them or for you? I guess it depends on the situation. But why are there hidden messages in what people say anyway? It seems like there is a problem with honesty, people don't want to say what they mean for whatever reason. Is it better to hide the truth from someone you care about or be honest with them and let them know the truth as opposed to allowing them to go on thinking the truth is a lie? Personally, I'd rather you tell me the truth. I don't want you to sensor things for me or be the judge of what I should or shouldn't know. If it does hurt me, it is something I would be able to deal with. But I have been guilty of not being completely honest with people. Perhaps we need to have a sense of who wants to hear the truth and who does not. But should we base what we say on what others want to hear or based on what we want to say?

Another question I thought about was, how do we deal with other people's opinions about us or feelings toward us? It seems as though we simply reciprocate other people's feelings toward us. When someone respects us, we respect them back. When someone dislikes us, there is an immediate dislike reciprocated simply because they do not accept them. Why would you approve of someone who does not approve of you? Maybe it has to do with a sense of power, that if they don't like me, they have the power to judge me so I'm going to show them I have that power too by not liking them in return and gossiping about it with the people who do like me and accept me, or at least appear to.