Big Paper Suggestions:

Arden- This is a good rough draft. From what I got, at the beginning it looked like your thesis was that digital representation devices keeps people connected but there is still a seperation in the experience. Then when you get into the new digital language that's where I kind of get lost because you don't really connect the rest of your arguments back to your main idea.

I think you have great examples and you explain them pretty well but you need to clearly connect back.

I also suggest that you take advantage of the resources that Andy's given us, you can take stuff from lectures and cite him or talk about Feed and quote from there or some of the articles and research we have done in previous assignments. This will make your arguments stronger.

Good start Arden, and thanks for your comment :]- Sandy


Esther- You have a good hook to your intro. I really like your thesis because I completely agree with it so I think your paper has potential to be really good, just keep it up, continue to write and finish it in time :) -Sandy


Omar- I think you have some really great ideas here about conformity and what society wants to think and how it is being expressed to us through digital represenation devices.

In my understanding, you're basically saying that DRDs distract us from important things and it gets us addicted to digital devices that just kill time and don't have any realy significance in our lives.

I would suggest that you just organize your thoughts and make sure you find strong evidence to back it up and connect back to your thesis. This is a good start- Sandy