Outline Feedback:

Esther- your thesis is good because you have good evidence to back it up. Your Feed and Wall-e evidence seem to be the strongest so when you organize your essay those should be the first and last arguments so you can start of and end your essay strong.

Your arguments about humans needing entertainment, so they created photographs and the development from there seems pretty logical but you should get some evidence to back that up.

I suggest that you use maybe lectures or stuff from you previous blog posts of your own or of others that might strengthen your arguments. Andy also gave us a list of several sources that we could use, it might be helpful to go through them.

This is a good start Esther! - Sandy

Omar- You have an interesting thesis.

I think you make a good argument that most people are entranced in pop culture and the media and DRDs and that distracts us from the important things in life. I think this is a valid argument but you could get specific about what is it about pop culture that attract us and what is it really distracting us from, what is so important that the media doesn't want us to see?

I also think you should take advantage of the sources that we have researched in class, maybe some sources you have in your previous posts, or Feed, or Wall-e.

This is a good start Omar!- Sandy